I like the show Top Chef. I’m not in love with it, so I’m a week behind. So I’m just now watching the Hung-as-Guest-Judge episode. The one in which the Quickfire is canned food. Which is the challenge that I pitched to the producers of the show.

When the show moved in down the street, I emailed my contacts at Top Chef (yes, I have contacts, never you mind who). I suggested that they help out the neighborhood and do a show at the Soup Kitchen. I broke it down into a Quickfire in which challengers are to cook something good with the ingredients that usually come in can drive boxes. I was specifically thinking about water chestnuts and cling peaches in sugar syrup. Yuck.

And then I pitched that the contestants cook for a Soup Kitchen elimination challenge, something that would be, oh I don’t know, meaningfull for Thanksgiving. And what do they do? They have the contestants cook fucking Butterball “turkeys” for the goddamned Foo Fighters at an arena in Rochester. Totally heartwarming. Thanks Bravo. Take a good idea that ties in to some kind of social responsibility and turn it into bad TV with bad food.

Spoiler Alert: I totally saw Jeff Hair being escorted from 20 Bayard with his baggage by a PA. So he didn’t win.